Own Your Sins

The Lord utters his voice before his army, for his host is exceedingly great; he that executes his word is powerful. For the day of the Lord is great and very terrible; who can endure it? “Yet even now,” says the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments.” Return to the Lord, your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, and repents of evil.

Joel 2:11-13

The other day I posted a testimony how focusing my mind on God paid off in the practical here and now.

It would be easy to infer from that bit of personal story that I think of myself as a good and righteous man. There is no denying that being good and righteous is what I desire to be almost constantly.

Then reality sets in.

Regardless of what I want or how I would like to be, the truth is that I make mistakes almost daily.

I screw things up.

I sin.

I am not always honest, and I certainly do not always bear true witness.

I can be quite jealous and envious of others. Coveting and wanting what is not mine? I am guilty of that just about every day.

If adultery were a skill I would be considered its master craftsman.

I am quite good at being selfish and greedy.

In all sorts of ways, both large and small, I am quite good at making bad choices.

Not only am I not perfect, I am not at all close to perfection.

For all my commentary about seeking after God, about following God’s Law and listening to God’s Word, I am stubborn, stiff-necked, and rebellious more often than not.

Good and righteous is how I would like to be. It is not how I am. If I do not admit that obvious truth about me I am no better than the Pharisees Jesus condemned time and again in the Gospels.

The reality of my life is that I am daily in need of forgiveness. I am daily needing to repent of one mistake or another, of one sin or another.

The reality of everyone’s life is that we are all daily in need of forgiveness. We are daily needing to repent of one mistake or another, of one sin or another.

We make mistakes.

We screw up.

We sin.

That’s a problem, because we do not get to unmake any of our mistakes. Good or bad, right or wrong, for better or worse, whatever we do immediately becomes part of our past, and everyone’s past is fixed and unchanging. All that we have done never gets redone or undone.

It is because the past is permanent that we all stand in sore need of forgiveness. Imagine the spiritual crisis anyone would face without forgiveness, with every mistake, every error, every sin piling up in our past, never to be erased.

Without forgiveness, how long would it be before the saintliest person on earth was overwhelmed by their mistakes?

Without forgiveness, how could anyone turn their attention towards the future, where the only opportunity exists to make better choices?

Long before Jesus came into the world, the prophets of ancient Israel understood that people needed to own up to their mistakes, repent, and seek forgiveness for them. This need is articulated time and again throughout the Old Testament.

We all need to be forgiven, but to be forgiven we need to accept that forgiveness as forgiveness. Forgiveness is a gift from God, but a gift rejected is no gift at all. If we do not come from a place of recognizing that we need forgiveness, ultimately, we will not be forgiven.

How do we recognize that we need forgiveness? The first and most obvious step is admitting our mistakes and acknowledging that they are ours. The reality of all sin is that no one ever forces us to make a bad choice. Others will tempt, or persuade, or even apply all manner of pressure, but all that we do is necessarily what we choose to do.

My sins are the result of my choices. My good deeds are also the result of my choices. If I wish to claim any credit for my good choices I must accept responsibility for my bad choices.

If I wish to be forgiven for my bad choices, I need to recognize that they were, in fact, bad choices. There is no excusing, no rationalizing, no providing of mitigating circumstances. If when given the choice between right and wrong I choose wrong, there is no escaping the reality that it was my choice to make.

Thus the prophet Joel says to “rend the heart”. However we articulate the acknowledgment of our sins, our bad choices—whether we call it “repentence” or “taking ownership” or anything else—that acknowledgment has to come from within. Merely going through performative excercises of apology or perfunctory acts of atonement is not what is needed, not what is called for.

My sins are mine, and I have to own them.

If I do not own my sins then I have not truly repented, I have not truly acknowledged my need for forgiveness, and I have not truly been transformed within myself to not repeat those same mistakes.

Before I can overcome my sins, I must own my sins. There is no second option.

Thus my prayer this day is that I will have the honesty and the courage to admit when I have sinned. My prayer this day is that I will accept all that my mistakes set in motion as the consequence of those mistakes. My prayer this day is that I will, by admitting my sins as sins, be transformed into someone who does not commit those particular sins, someone who comes a little closer to being good and righteous.

My prayer for you is that you also will have the honesty and the courage to admit when you have sinned. My prayer for you is that you will accept all that your mistakes set in motion as the consequence of those mistakes. My prayer for you is that you will, by admitting your sins as sins, be transformed into someone who does not commit those particular sins, someone who comes a little closer to being good and righteous.

For all of us, our sins are ours, and we have to own them.

If we do not own our sins then we have not truly repented, we have not truly acknowledged our need for forgiveness, and we have not truly been transformed within ourselves to not repeat those same mistakes.

Before we can overcome our sins, we must own our sins. There is no second option.