Do We Do Well To Be Angry?

But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was angry. And he prayed to the Lord and said, “I pray thee, Lord, is not this what I said when I was yet in my country? That is why I made haste to flee to Tarshish; for I knew that thou art a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, and repentest of evil. Therefore now, O Lord, take my life from me, I beseech thee, for it is better for me to die than to live.” And the Lord said, “Do you do well to be angry?”

Jonah 4:1-4

Let us be real for a moment: People can annoy us. People can irritate us. People can infuriate us.

Even a random thoughtless comment by someone online or off can send us into fits of rage.

And that’s just the accidental clumsy comments that are not intended to hurt!

Then there are those comments where the words are chosen specifically for their capacity to wound both our psyche and our pride.

There are also actions which are likewise done with deliberate intent of inflicting harm.

Who among us has not dealt with such bad behavior at least once? For some, that bad behavior has escalated to levels of abuse and assault, leaving behind psychological scars of trauma and lingering pain.

Not for nothing do we get angry at such people. Not for nothing do we respond to those who annoy us, who irritate us, who infuriate us, with a most righteous anger.

But do we do well to be angry?

Human beings, on balance, excel at behaving badly towards one another. Who among us could argue the truth of this?

Because human beings, on balance, excel at behaving badly towards one another, human beings often desire, on balance, that bad behavior result in bad consequences.

We want—or at least we say we want—a world where consequence is meted out in just measure for the actions taken. We want—or at least we say we want—a world where the people who do bad things come to bad ends, and the people who do good things come to good ends. We want—or at least we say we want—a world where we see the bad people coming to bad ends, and where we see the good people coming to good ends.

For most people, such outcomes broadly fit our notions of fairness and justice.

How should we apprehend the reality that, in this world, many people who do bad things do not come to bad ends, or at least are not seen as coming to bad ends?

How are such outcomes fair? How are such outcomes just?

As many do not consider such outcomes fair or just, it is no surprise that people become angry when they see such outcomes unfolding in the world. Rarely is anything more infuriating than the appearance of injustice in the world.

But do we do well to be angry?

There is no avoiding the reality that we live in a world where the bad guys do not always get their comeuppance. Nor can we hide from the reality that our frequent desire for retribution and revenge against the notional “bad guys” is not always satiated.

Given this reality of the world in which we live, it surely can not come as a complete surprise when the bad guys appear to escape a bad fate. We might be angry at such outcomes, but we surely cannot claim to be surprised by them.

Do we do well, therefore, to be angry?

Perhaps the better question is to ask ourselves “who among us is helped by being angry?”

To be clear, we are going to get angry at least now and again. That will happen.

People not only can annoy us. People do annoy us. People do irritate us. People do infuriate us. Some people, it seems, do nothing but annoy, irritate, and infuriate.

Such people are going to cause us to be angry. If we are a typical human being, with typical emotions and typical feelings, such people are typically going to catalyze feelings of anger within us at least some of the time.

Yet what does being angry gain us?

What benefit do we achieve through that anger?

Anger does not make us feel good. It does not feel good in the moment. It does not feel good over time. Rather, to feel anger is to feel pain.

Anger is painful. Our anger is painful for us to feel.

Anger can warp and weaken our better judgment. Indeed, courts and prisons are filled with people who, in the heat of anger, made a bad decision which resulted in some very bad consequences.

Rarely do we see people achieving good consequences, or good outcomes, through anger.

The answer to the question “who among us is helped by being angry?” appears to be “no one.”

Yet we get angry. Helpful or unhelpful, anger is the reflexive response whenever we are confronted by people’s bad acts. Helpful or unhelpful, anger happens.

Because anger happens, there seems little purpose to suggestions that we should work on not being angry, that we should strive to master and control our emotions. If we are going to get angry, making a virtue out of not being angry is merely setting ourselves up for a vicious failure.

Anger happens, and we are going to be angry at least now and again, but we should not conflate that inevitability of anger with any notion that we are compelled to act on our anger, or to make choices while angry. We need only think again about courts and prisons, and the people who have landed within them because of choices made while angry to see the virtue in not making choices in the heat of an angry moment.

Anger does not relieve us of the need to always make the best choices we can. Anger does not let us “off the hook” for bad choices. We are held to account not for what we feel, but for what we do—for what we choose to do.

We might not do well to be angry. We almost certainly do not do well by being angry. Yet perhaps we can do well while being angry. If we can choose well even while grappling with anger, if we can choose a path and an outcome with hopefully more good consequences than bad, we can do well.

Angry or not, confronted with bad people or not, who among us does not desire a path with more good outcomes than bad, and more good consequences than bad?

Angry or not, confronted with bad people or not, our best chance at finding such a path always lies in seeking to make good choices—and that means making choices which are rooted in reason and not in emotion.

We might not do well to be angry. We almost certainly do not do well by being angry. Yet we can do well while being angry if we can manage to root our choices in reason and refrain from rooting our choices in our anger.

My prayer every day is that I will learn how to choose wisely even when I am angry. My prayer every day is that I will learn to root my choices in reason, and to refrain from rooting my choices in anger. My prayer every day is that I will always make good choices, regardless of whether I am angry or no.

My prayer for you every day is that you also will learn how to choose wisely even when angry. My prayer for you every day is that you also will learn to root your choices in reason, and to refrain from rooting your choices in anger. My prayer for you every day is that you will always make good choices, regardless of whether you are angry or no.

We do not do well to be angry. We cannot help but be angry.

Yet if we are wise even when we are angry, we may yet manage to somehow choose well, and therefore do well.