We Are Going To Disagree
Then let us no more pass judgment on one another, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but it is unclean for any one who thinks it unclean. If your brother is being injured by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. Do not let what you eat cause the ruin of one for whom Christ died. So do not let your good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not food and drink but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit; he who thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. Let us then pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.
People are going to disagree.
People are more likely to disagree on something than they are to agree on it. That is just how people are, and it is how people have always been.
We are going to disagree with people. We are going to disagree with our family members. We are going to disagree with our friends. We are going to disagree with our coworkers. We are going to disagree with our neighbors.
During elections, we are going to disagree with our countrymen.
People are going to disagree.
Yet people are not going to stop being people. Agree or disagree, family members remain family members, united by the same ties of blood or marriage. Agree or disagree, friends hopefully remain friends. Agree or disagree, coworkers will remain coworkers. Agree or disagree, neighbors will remain neighbors.
Agree or disagree, countrymen will remain countrymen.
Which is more important? A disagreement or a bond of family or of friendship?
Do our political differences outweigh ties of community or of nation?
Should differences in faith be an unbridgeable divide?
People are going to disagree. That is just how people are, and it is how people have always been.
How should we handle disagreement?
More precisely, how do we deal with people when we disagree?
We can stand on our sense of being right, or perhaps our sense of righteousness. That is certainly an option.
We can demand that others agree with us, not yielding even an inch, seeking a total capitulation. That also is certainly an option.
We can yield to others, and at least pretend to agree with them. That is an option as well.
If we stand on our sense of righteousness, what happens? Are we more or less likely to persuade others to change their thinking to match ours? Are we more or less likely to push others away, and alienate them, so that their thinking will never match ours?
If we demand total capitulation, what happens then? Are we more or less likely to get that much surrender from people? Are they more or less likely to push back against that demand, so that conflict ensues—perhaps even violent conflict?
If we yield to others, and give lip services to agreement, what happens then? Are we more or less likely to have another conflict later on? Are we more or less likely to dissuade future disagreements and future conflicts by being agreeable?
What other options are there?
One alternative is to simply drop the issue and not dwell on it further. Do not stand on our sense of righteousness. Do not demand total capitulation—do not demand capitulation at all. Do not yield and do not surrender.
Simply let the matter be. Do not waste further breath or energy on debate, simply drop the matter and move on. Find another topic of conversation.
People are going to disagree, but they rarely disagree on everything. Our communities would not last for a moment if people always disagreed on everything.
When a disagreement arises, what points of agreement do you have?
Do you even know?
Hopefully in the workplace there is at least agreement on the necessity of getting work done, of meeting team objectives for the week, the month, the year.
Hopefully friends can agree on at least the importance of friendship. Hopefully family can agree that ties of blood and marriage matter more than disagreements.
Hopefully within communities ties of community and of nation matter more than disagreements.
We are called to be witnesses for truth, but we are also called to peace and humility, and we are called to choose peace where we can.
Necessarily, then, we are called to live together with our neighbors. We are called to call our friends our friends. We are called to honor the familial ties of blood and marriage. We are called to cherish ties of community and of nation.
My prayer every day is that I may find paths to agreement rather than disagreement. My prayer every day is that I may find ways to build bridges through agreement rather than walls of disagreement.
My prayer for you, on every day, is that you also will find paths to agreement rather than disagreement. That you also will find ways to build bridges through agreement and not walls of disagreement.
People are going to disagree. That is how people are.
People are also going to agree. That also is how people are.
We are going to disagree. But we are also going to agree.
Let us remember that we can agree, and let us always cherish that capacity to agree on some things even when we disagree on other things.