I Answer Only For Me. I Speak Only To You

The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, nor shall the children be put to death for the fathers; every man shall be put to death for his own sin.

Deuteronomy 24:16

I am a man. Neither more nor less.

More importantly, I am one man. I am singular, not plural. I am not a group, nor am I a class.

Several conversations I have had of late have reminded me of the importance of individuality, of seeing each other as individuals. I have been reminded that if we do not see each other as individuals, we are not seeing each other at all.

Every person has a story that is unique and therefore special. Every person has their own tale of trial, tribulation, and hopefully triumph.

My virtues are mine. They are not your virtues.

My vices are mine. They are not your vices.

My trials and tribulations are mine. They are not your trials and tribulations.

My triumphs are mine. They are not your triumphs.

These are things that we do not share with one another, because these are things we cannot share with one another. There is no one in all of humanity who can claim to have been where any other person has been—not fully, and therefore not really.

We might imagine we share experiences in common, but how can we, when no two people ever bring the same perspectives, the same contexts, the same life experiences to anything? All that makes each of us unique means that even when we are in the same moment, the same place, partaking of the same event, we receive that moment, that place, that event differently. All that makes each of us unique means that each moment, each place, each event shapes each of us differently.

We are unique, and so we are uniquely affected by all that happens within our lives.

We do well to be mindful of this, because our uniqueness means that every generalization we make about people for whatever reason is to some degree inaccurate. Every generalization we make about people is, ultimately, demonstrably false.

I can say that men are stronger than women, and be assured that there are reams of statistical data which demonstrate that, on average, a man is indeed physically stronger than a woman. Having said that, I can then be confronted by the undeniable reality of women who happen to be physically stronger than at least some men.

I can say that a culture or a society has certain attributes, and I can then be confronted by individual members of that society living out that culture who do not have those particular attributes.

It seems very unlikely that there is not a single generalization which can be made about humans, human society, or even any part of human society which cannot be contested by the contrarian example.

Pronounce a society virtuous and someone within it will be shown to be vicious.

Pronounce a society vicious and someone within it will be shown to be virtuous.

Can there any doubt that these things are undeniably true? I do not believe there is. I believe that a moment’s reflection is all that is needed to see these things are absolutely true.

This being so, what reason can there be for holding one person to account for the misdeeds of another? Is there any reason at all which can survive close scrutiny? I have not found one.

This being so, what reason can there be for making any assumption that a person should be arbitrarily assigned to any arbitrary grouping based on some arbitrary attribute? Is there any reason at all which can survive close scrutiny? I have not found one.

Are all who call themselves “Christian” the same? Hardly. Even aside from the obvious denominational labels, people pray differently, apprehend the teachings of God’s Word differently, are touched by the Holy Spirit differently.

The Apostle Paul reminds of us this in Romans 12:

For as in one body we have many members, and all the members do not have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; he who teaches, in his teaching; he who exhorts, in his exhortation; he who contributes, in liberality; he who gives aid, with zeal; he who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

Even in Exodus, we see that God called the craftsmen Bezalel and Oholiab differently, gifting each with individual talents, that they might lead in crafting the Tabernacle and the Ark of The Covenant.

The Lord said to Moses, “See, I have called by name Bez′alel the son of Uri, son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah: and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with ability and intelligence, with knowledge and all craftsmanship, to devise artistic designs, to work in gold, silver, and bronze, in cutting stones for setting, and in carving wood, for work in every craft. And behold, I have appointed with him Oho′liab, the son of Ahis′amach, of the tribe of Dan; and I have given to all able men ability, that they may make all that I have commanded you:

We are reminded in the closing verse of Judges that before God each of us must apprehend right and wrong for ourselves.

In those days there was no king in Israel; every man did what was right in his own eyes.

We are not the same. No two people are the same, nor can they be judged to be the same.

As we are not the same, as we do not share lives or life experiences, it does not follow that any man should ever answer for anything but what he himself has done. It does not follow that any man should ever be held to account for any duty but what he himself has accepted as his.

It does not follow that we should accord any man glory for any good but what he himself has gifted the world.

It does not follow that we should see any person as any other than an individual person—not even man or woman but rather Cain or Abel, Jacob or Esau, Peter or Mary.

Only when we focus on the individual can we apprehened the whole of a person. Only when we focus on the individual can we see all of a person’s gifts, all their humanity.

Only when we focus on the individual do we have any context for perceiving both their virtues and their vices.

Only when we focus on the individual do we have any hope of understanding either their trials and tribulations or their triumphs.

From that it follows that when we do not focus on the individual, we do not see the individual—and therefore we cannot see their humanity. When we do not focus on the individual, we have no context for perceiving either their virtues or their vices. When we do not focus on the individual, we have no hope of understanding either their trials and tribulations or their triumphs.

Jesus reminds us of this when He reminds us that the second of the two Great Commandments is that we love our neighbor as we love ourselves. As we must attend to our own individual wants and needs individually, so we must minister to the individual wants and needs of others individually.

If we fail to apprehend the individual as an individual, there is no hope that we can love that individual as we love ourselves. Such a thing is simply not possible.

My prayer this day is that I will be ever more mindful of this, that I will grow more aware of the individuality of all those around me. My prayer this day is that I will always strive to see each person as the unique and special person they are, and not dismiss anyone with arbitrary and therefore false generalizations and stereotypes. My prayer this day is that by seeing every person as an individual, I will come to know the humanity that resides within them.

My prayer for you this day is that you also will be mindful of this, that you also will grow more aware of the individuality of all those around you. My prayer for you this day is that you will succeed in seeing each person as the unique and special person they are, not dismissing anyone with arbitrary and therefore false generalizations and stereotypes. My prayer for you this day is that by seeing every person as an individual, you also will come to know the humanity that resides within them.

I am a man, neither more nor less.

As a man, I can speak only for myself. As a man, I can speak only to you.

When I see you and only you, when you see me and only me, only then can we begin to meet each other where we are. Only then can we begin to build bonds of friendship, of community, and of society.

It begins with me. It begins with you. It begins with us.