Ego Never Ends Well
When pride comes, then comes disgrace;
but with the humble is wisdom.
To say that pride is a sin is to invite a certain amount of ridicule, along the lines of “Well, thank you, Captain Obvious!”
To craft an entire sermon around the premise that pride is sinful is to flirt with a most ironic bit of hypocrisy. How much of my ego is involved in crafting Peter’s Proverbs each week? Probably more than I would like to admit.
I want people to read these words. I want people to listen to my podcast of these words. I want to attract followers among those who do read and who do listen.
Is it pride to think I have something meaningful to say? Probably.
Will that pride cause trouble for me at some point? Probably. Almost certainly—I am nothing if not a proud man.
Yet all we have to do is browse just a little bit of any social media platform to know that pride is running rampant in this world. People pose, people posture, people preen—and whatever other motive they might have, trumpeting their own egos is surely not far down the list.
One could even make the argument that social media exists for people to proclaim loudly and to as many people as possible “look at me!”—the ultimate celebration of the ego.
How is that working out for people? Not very well. Not when people are struggling with an increasing variety of mental health issues. Not when loneliness and isolation, and the psychological consequences that follow, are becoming increasingly prevalent in the world.
The more we proclaim our own greatness, the more we celebrate our egos, the less satisfying everything becomes. I highly doubt anyone could make a serious argument against that conclusion.
Nor is there any mystery why this is so. Fundamentally, we are not great. We are not even good. We are sinners, every last one of us.
We make mistakes. We do the wrong thing time and again. We hurt others—even those we hold most dear. We sin.
These are not qualities any sane person would celebrate or promote, and yet they are qualities that are inherent in every person on this good Earth.
These are qualities within every person that can confound everything we do. These are qualities that can—and do—disrupt every good journey we undertake.
There is no doubt that every moment of anxiety that arises in my life arises out of things I have either done or said. I set out to do one thing, achieve one outcome, and something unanticipated happens instead.
Yet why should I expect it to be otherwise? Why should I expect the world to do precisely as I demand even once? Why would I ever believe I can bend the world to my will?
Why would anyone believe such a thing? And yet people do.
For all the many disappointments we receive when reality fails to measure up to our expectations, we persist in our expectations. Certainly I do. Even though I know better, I am forever certain that whatever I do is going to turn out exactly as I desire.
Then things turn out differently and I am left to wonder what else will go wrong, and how much grief will have I have to endure because of things going wrong.
Yet they really are not going “wrong”. The world is unfolding exactly as it will. Events are moving along exactly that trajectory they were always going to move, no matter what I expected.
Things are going wrong only in that they are not going the way I expect, or the way I desire.
Being gravely disappointed at everything the world does is the inevitable consequence of putting ego above reality.
No wonder people struggle with mental health issues, when the pursuit of ego results in constant psychological bombardment with disappointment and frustration!
We are called to do the right thing in every circumstance. We are called to follow God and heed God’s Law every day.
We are not promised specific results in return for doing the right thing. If anything, we are assured that the world will challenge us for doing the right thing. If we take a stand on principle—on any principle—it is certain at least some people will be highly offended by that principle, seek to “cancel”, us and tear us down.
Yet if we turn our backs on principles, if we choose to abandon God’s Law, the outcomes are no better, and are frequently much worse. If we are focused on doing the right thing we are at least not adding to the negative energies engulfing the world. If we stray from that those negative energies are invariably increased significantly.
One reason following God’s Law matters is that it is how we can avoid the pitfalls of ego. When our priority is doing the right thing, without regard for what becomes of us, we have by definition put ego aside. Pride and arrogance are replaced by humility and deference.
If we choose to put pride first ahead of God’s Law, we are by definition rejecting God’s Law. Pride is sinful simply because it creates a barrier between each of us and God, a barrier that does not need to be there, a barrier that exists only because we make it exist.
I say this, and yet when I am being honest I must admit that I am very much a proud man. If there is one sin in which I am extremely well versed, it is pride.
I make no excuses for this. I know pride and arrogance are a mistake, and yet I enjoy being the cocky problem-solver, the man who sees any situation and says to himself, “I got this.” Inevitably, this means I do not ask for help when I should, I do not seek the guidance that I need, and so invariably I create more problems for myself along the way.
I doubt I am alone in this.
When the problems happen, I indulge in a bit of regret, mentally kick myself yet again for being foolish, and then focus once more on trying to do the right thing. Hopefully in that I end up succeeding more often than failing.
Thus my prayer every day is that I will manage to be more mindful of what is real and true and less worried about pride and ego. My prayer every day is that I will be guided not by my ego but by what is right. My prayer every day is that I will not let my ego make too much a mess of things before I work at putting them right again.
My prayer for you is that you also will manage to be mindful of what is real and true, and not worry about pride or ego. My prayer for you is that you also will be guided not by ego but by what is right. My prayer for you is that you will not let ego make too much a mess of things before working to put them right again.
The world will do as it will do, as it has always done. Our desires are only a factor in our expectations, not in the final outcomes.
When we forget this, and let ego take precedence, disappointment and frustration are our inevitable reminders that ego never ends well.
So many valid points, Peter. But there is ego, and then there is a healthy self-esteem. You have a powerful mind that is better at reasoning and analyzing than the minds of most people, plus you have a much better memory. You are entitled to think that you are smart, because you are! And I thank God there are cocky problem-solvers like you. This nation was built by problem-solvers, and by those with stubborn resolve to improve things in accordance with their vision of a better world. We need a great deal more people like you in this modern, troubled world. I hope you never stop being your wonderful Self, Peter. I adore who you are! Of course we are all sinners, but you are striving to be better, and that’s all that God asks of you. You are admired and respected, more than you know, for your unrelenting, intelligent efforts. Bless you always!
There is an old proverb - I’ve read that it’s a Spanish one, but it shows up in other cultures as well - of “Man makes plans, and God laughs”. Yup. We all get humbled, disappointed, and tossed back to square one. The key is to consciously learn some lessons, and thank our loving God for these lessons, which make us better souls.
I read something a psychologist wrote years ago regarding people being disappointed with themselves. He said that so many of his patients came to him feeling like total failures, lamenting their mistakes, beating themselves up emotionally. He asked them, “So, all of your high school classmates became millionaires, won Nobel Prizes, won Academy Awards, won Heisman Trophies?” And the patient would have to admit, uh, no, none of his classmates became fabulously rich, or world famous, or the next Einstein, or got inducted into any Hall of Fame. Every single one of his classmates repeatedly failed at different things, had misfortunes, and had to pick themselves up and try again at Life. Well, Bingo! This IS life, isn’t it? You’re doing fine, Peter. Your soul is growing in wisdom. You are open to God’s guidance in leading you to your ongoing contributions - some of which you’ve not even aware. This is why there is so much wisdom in the Bible telling us to be patient, persevere, trust God, wait on the Lord. God’s Plan is unfolding as it should, and you’re part of it, in ways that will give you ultimate joy. You ARE beautiful, Peter - just as you are!
Peter, you aptly point out "One could even make the argument that social media exists for people to proclaim loudly and to as many people as possible “look at me!”—the ultimate celebration of the ego."
I myself am not on Facebook, X, etc. and I pointed this out to another Substacker, the Ohio Barbarian, that I wasn't on social media. His reply was, "You are on Substack." And then I realized I was. So I guess my ego still comes out at times when I comment on posts or make a post.