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Gbill7's avatar

I have had glimpses of how much you have grown just during the past two and a half years, Peter. You are progressing, and have grounds to be pleased with your personal growth in knowledge and wisdom. Really!

When we wish to grow in certain respects, away from sin, but have internal conflicts, we need to track down the root impediment. Usually it’s deeply buried past trauma, often from childhood, that we don’t want to deal with and therefore can’t resolve. You already know this, of course. It’s usually a core of anger, grief, sadness, and difficulty in forgiving. Only you can nail down the feeling. Only you can confront it, actually feel the deep sorrow or rage, and cry it out of your system, in order to achieve personal peace. What’s important is to FEEL it, because that bottled up powerful energy has to be released! It doesn’t work to merely intellectually figure it out. Plus, I’ve read around a hundred experts who say that the energy of deeply buried emotions such as rage, if not expressed, will be turned against your own body’s health, as heart attacks, depression, and other forms of mis-application.

I know from my own personal experience that sometimes a person has to go through multiple iterations of trying to forgive someone completely, maybe over decades, before the emotions are truly in the past. This includes forgiving God for having inflicted upon you circumstances that felt like cruelties. Once the energy has been dissipated, you are able to grow towards your more Christ-like intentions. You are finally able to conquer sinful tendencies, grow in Christ, and have your undesired behavior be firmly in your past. Peace at last!

Blessing to you always, dear Peter.

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